September Blues

Date: 06/09/2013

Weigh In: 158.8

Currently Watching: Huge (tv show)

Current Thinspo: Mary-Kate Olsen

Currently Reading: Wintergirls

I hate when September rolls around and all the students are off to school and I'm stuck here. 

I love the strict regime of school

I love learning and I love restricting while I'm at school.

Unfortunatly I quit my job at the end of August in order to go to France with my mum

Now I'm stuck trying to find a new job. 

Truth be told, I miss my old job cleaning houses as I lost so much weight 

and could fast without people asking questions.

As much as I love the Fall fashions and being able to layer clothes to hide my body,

 it reminds me that winter is coming soon which means the year is practically over.

I've vowed to workout as much as possible outside (walking dog, biking) 

especially since I don't have a job right now. 

I'll wait until the snow comes (November) and then I'll get a gym membership 

before all the "New Year's Resolutions" people invade the gym.

My mum has been driving me crazy, constantly nagging and me and barking orders

it makes me not want to apply to jobs because she keeps yelling at me about it. 

I also want to move out asap but I need a job first.

All this anger towards her has motivated me to do a hungerstrike.

Unfortunatly, it was broken the other day when we had a family BBQ 

I couldn't avoid it.

I ended up eating and then leaving to purge

after everyone left I exercised for the rest of the night.

I'm going to the Fall Fair tonight with my friend, not eating.

I then have a wedding on Saturday and I can't avoid brunch

the good thing about being vegan is that you don't need an excuse to avoid certain foods.

I need to get to the 140s asap.

July 9th, 2013

Weigh in: 166.4 (-1lb. from yesterday)

Currently Watching: Garden Party

Current Thinspo: Willa Holland

Currently Reading: Wasted by Marya Hornbacher (almost done!)

I have been binging a lot lately due to stress at work

I did a liquid fast today

Only 2 iced coffees & a diet coke

I've started to make lists of "rejected food" that I have refused to eat 

it makes me feel in control.

I've decided to start a new diet that I'm calling "selective menu"

basically, restricting...

This includes:

Breakfast: 

1 iced coffee (30)

1 apple (80) OR 20 grapes (69)

Lunch:

Diet Coke (0)

2 Stalks of celery (12) OR 1 medium carrot (25) OR 1 cup of cucumber (16)

Dinner:

Herbal tea

* Allowed to eat protein when feeling weak ~ 1 veggie dog (50)

* If FORCED to eat than stick to a salad with the dressing on the side

* Allowed to eat either sugar free jello (5) or caramel rice cake (50) when feeling the need to binge

*Allowed to eat either 2 Ryvita Crackers (70) or a Rice Cake (40)  on the weekends

I have a friend who I'll be texting my intake to

in order to keep my intake in check

We'll also be each others "binge busters"

My trip to Paris is going to be coming sooner than I think

I need to lose this weight.

Call Me Maybe?

I'm a horrible friend.

My old friends from Uni. have texted & e-mailed me

I have yet to respond. 

The only time I contacted my friend was when 

she found my mother on facebook 

& messaged her about me(I deactivated my account)

Since then she replied & sent another e-mail as well as texts.

I lied & said my phone wasn't working properly

or that I was busy

I haven't seen my friends since January.

It's not that I don't want to see them (well kinda..)

I just want to be thin when I do.

People whom you haven't seen in months are more likely

to notice if you've lost weight

as opposed to those that you see 24/7

Oh, Scodelario! [THINSPO]

I just finished watching "Skins: Fire"

I have and will always love her figure

Enjoy the Spam!

xox

July 3rd, 2013

Weight: 164.6 (-2.2lbs.)

Intake:

Too Much.

Exercise:

Not Enough.

--------------------------------------------------

I pre-planned my day.

150 calories. No more, no less.

I woke up late and was already stressed about my day.

The fact that the kitchen was empty triggered a binge.

This binge was repeated throughout the day.

Especially as I became more and more stressed.

I purged a bit but I doubt it made a difference.

I am dreading tomorrows weigh in.

I plan on doing a liquid fast for the rest of the week.

July 2, 2013

Weight: 166.8 (-3lbs.)

Intake:

Breakfast:

Pear Baby Food (70)

Lunch:

2/3 cup of Baby Food puffs (40)

McDonalds Large Coke Zero (0)

Dinner: 

Carrot Baby Food (50)

Water w/ lemon (0)

Cinnamon & Sweetener tea (0)

McDonalds Large Diet Coke (0)

Exercise:

375 minutes cleaning (921)

8 km walk (292)

200 side stretches (per side)

100 windmill stretches

200 inner thigh stretches (per leg)

200 scissor kicks (per leg)

8 minute arms [youtube video]

8 minute arms [youtube video]

200 crunches

3 minute dance

July 1st, 2013

Intake: 

Breakfast: Cinnamon/Sweetener tea

Lunch: Diet Coke

Dinner: Two cups of lavender tea w/ cinnamon

Exercise:

A few hours of gardening/weeding